DISCLAIMER: Major League Wrestling has no affiliation nor does MLW (which is presented by www.newlawoffice.com) assume any liability whatsoever in the event Filthy Island is a fraudulent business venture. Wrestlers and fans assume all risk associated with journeying to Filthy Island.
Tom Lawlor is shown on the phone. He is quite frustrated and calls Dominic Garrini over. He tells Dom that everything is being held at the port and there’s no SPAM. Dom reminds Tom of the fine delicacy that SPAM (Filthy Island’s only sponsor) is and that Filthy Island needs the strong presence of SPAM. Lawlor, however, needs Dom to go down to the port and talk to Cunningham. He hands Garrini a bottle of mouthwash and notes that it isn’t for Cunningham, but it’s for Dom. The Canton Crippler looks mighty perplexed as Filthy Island kicks off! Aloha!
We don’t have Rich Bocchini nor Jared St. Laurent at ringside, but we do have Filthy Tom and Dan Lambert shoreside to call the action of Filthy Island. Lambert isn’t all too certain about the arrangement as he inspects the canned meat heavily adoring the commentary table.
The two men note the main event between King Mo and Low Ki. Lambert isn’t so sure of Low Ki’s ability to corral a crowd, but one man who he and Lawlor fully believe in is Dom Garrini as he saunters out for his prize fight challenge.
His opponent? The seemingly underwhelming Mauna Loa whom Lambert calls Tom out on. Nonetheless, here’s his “Filthy Facts”:
- 14-time Polynesian Pacific Champion
- Trained by King Curtis Iaukea
- Advocates 100% Dole Whip Diet
Prize Fight Challenge
Dominic Garrini vs. Mauna Loa
Loa stomps his feet as the official raises the bag of money. As a true man of sportsmanship, Garrini offers Loa a complimentary can of SPAM, but gets knocked for his efforts. Bell rings and Loa splashes him. He surprisingly gets a two count!
Dom goes ringside to plead his case to Lawlor, but then he gets back in the ring and easily Judo throws Loa. A guillotine chokes the life out of Loa for the W.
WINNER: Dominic Garrini
Lawlor then ever so generously does pitch it over to Rich Bocchini and St. Laurent who is calling The action of the Azteca Jungle Fight between Savio Vega and “The Man Of 1,000 Deaths” Mil Muertes from Chichen Itza, Mexico. That will be occurring soon. Bocchini mentions that Hammerstone is looking for some R&R on Filthy Island, but the World Tag Team Champions in Los Parks have some words for the National Openweight Champion.
Los Parks will be ready to defend their Tag Titles against CONTRA come March 3 but they want to bring more gold to the “El Jefe” of Azteca Underground. LA Park mentions his desire still for World Champion Gold, but El Hijo suggests Hammerstone’s Openweight strap. LA Park likes the sound of that, stating Hammer is big on muscles, but little intelligence. He’s going after that belt.
Speaking of Hammer, we see The Dynasty Bros together. Richard Holliday and Hammer both aren’t impressed with the Hawaiian atmosphere. It’s cloudy so there’s no chance for a ’91 Hogan tan (“’84 at best!”) The two carry on with their vacation.
We hear from St. Laurent. He notes that Salina de la Renta has arrived and the referee is awaiting for the fight to begin. Salina then delivers him a message stating that “blood will pour on the Aztec temples” and it’s signed by the new provider of Promociones Dorado. We cut back Hawaii for the next bout.
Kevin Ku vs. Zenshi
Ku gets his music played on the boombox at ringside as he awaits Zenshi, but he doesn’t have to wait long as the Chilean high-flyer soars down from the tree above the ropeless ring!
Bell rings and we’re underway. Zenhi faceplants Ku down, but Ku bails quickly. He catches Zenshi in a burning hammer and slams him hard on the apron. Zenshi avoids a stomp and a kick to roll Ku up for a two count. Zenshi holds onto a ring post and kicks at Ku. He then follows up with an enziguri, but Kevin turns it into a dragon screw.
Ku goes for a pin attempt but rolls it over in a single leg crab. Ku cranks back on it as Zenshi crawls to the ring post. That gives him enough leverage to fling Ku off. Ku, however, catches Ku in a Boston crab. Ku then gets rolled up for a near fall, but he stays on the offensive with some kicks to the back.
Ku chops Zenshi before a suplex attempt. Zenshi rolls Ku up, but Kevin kicks out only to get his legs swept. Zenshi headbutts Kevin down. Kevin fires back with some shots but a Pele kick dizzies Kevin for a two count. Kevin trips Zenshi into the bare ring post and goes for a German suplex attempt, but Zenshi lands on his feet. Kevin keeps his wits about him and plants Zenshi hard with a bridging Dragon Suplex for the 1-2-3.
WINNER: Kevin Ku
Team Filthy is 2-0 tonight. Lawlor isn’t the biggest fan of Zenshi showing up “late to work.”
We cut to the Von Erichs as Ross and Marshall are at the highest point of the Von Erich Ranch. The brothers are bummed that they can’t be in attendance to support Low Ki tonight, but Ross happens to present some keys. The brothers look to be aiming to crash the party!
Azteca Jungle Fight
Savio Vega vs. Mil Muertes (presented by Salina de la Renta)
Back among the Aztec grounds, we see Savio Vega confront Salina as he awaits Mil Muertes. Mil attacks from behind and the two men brawl throughout the jungle until the feed suddenly cuts out!
Next week, get ready for some classic MLW action as MLW Underground makes its return to the airwaves!
As we try to get the feed back to the Jungle Fight, we do have Alicia Atout’s exclusive interview with TJP. She asks him about his post-match actions against his protégé Bu Ku Dao after the two lost to Los Parks in their Tag Team Championship shot. He says he’s been asked about that a lot. Over the course of his 22 years in the ring, he’s achieved so many accolades. He’s accomplished so much as a junior and a cruiserweight. He’s been a part of many teams now and just like Lebron James, he will bring his partners kicking and screaming to victory, but Dao is a different story. He believes that Bu Ku doesn’t know what winning time is. Atout notes that TJP’s treatment of Dao was very much that of a bully. TJP takes exception to that, calling it “a bit much” and that Dao basically can’t get the job done. Atout reiterates that Dao looks up to him in which TJP mocks his protege’s height before he gets insulted and ends the interview early.
Gringo Loco vs. Rocky Romero
Bell rings and the two athletes circle one another. The referee apparently has split his pants as Rocky cinches in a hammerlock. The two get into a test of strength. Rocky kicks Loco in the gut and monkey flips Loco. Gringo returns the favor and gets a two count. arm drags and head scissors get exchanged but Loco levels it all with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Two count.
Surfboard stretch by Loco to Rocky. Rocky fights to his feet as Loco has him in a front headlock. Spinning kick from Rocky. Another hammerlock. Loco elbows himself free, but Rocky fires back with his own. Snapmare from Rocky only gets a shoulder tackle. Loco talks some trash to Tom and he gets rolled up by Romero for a near fall. Loco lariats him down. Gringo locks the leg and pretzels Rocky on the mat.
Back on their feet, the two exchange chops and slaps. Hard forearms from the two as Rocky fires himself up. Short flurry from Rocky helps him lay out two clotheslines on Loco. Gringo goes to the ground and Rocky leaps off with a hurricanrana.
Rocky notes to the viewing audience that this match is “for his dog.” The crowd seems somewhat behind that sentiment. Romero gets kicked onto the ringside sofa and Loco leaps onto him with a senton!
Gringo gets Rocky back in the ring. He nails Loco with an elevated reverse DDT and gets a two count. Loco sets Rocky up for a handspring backflip but Rocky gets a shot on Loco’s arm. He then knees at Loco’s limbs, but Gringo shows his resilency with an enziguri. Two count! The referee administers his ten count. Loco answers the call first and hoists Rocky up on his shoulder. Romero wrenches the arm and kicks Gringo before smacking him with a knee lift and then uses the ring post for elevation on the tornado DDT for the 1-2-3!
WINNER: Rocky Romero
The feed returns from Mexico as Muertes and Vega continue to brutalize one another. Savio fights away at Mil, but Muertes continues to hammer away at Vega. Vega continues to brawl back and gets some shots to the mid-section.
Muertes chokes Savio as the feed gets cut once more…this time by CONTRA and Josef Samael. He calls Jordan Oliver a child and naive to consequence. He should have stayed in the “kiddie pool” because now he’s going to pay for his actions, courtesy of the World Champion Jacob Fatu.
The Von Erichs livestream themselves as they make their way to Filthy Island and we get a preview of what’s to come for MLW in the coming weeks.
We finally get a return to the Jungle Fight as Muertes is shown strangling Savio with a vine. Vega fights off as we hear thunder rumbling in the background. Vega knocks Muertes down to the ground, but Muertes takes some shots to Mil’s mid-section. Savio has a crowbar, but Muertes grabs hold of it and gives Vega a severe shot. Salina tells Muertes to “finish the job.” He covers Vega and gets the victory.
WINNER: Mil Muertes
That “job” wasn’t done however as Muertes grabs a shovel and begins digging a grave for Vega before the feed gets cut!
Tom Lawlor welcomes Rich and Hammer to the lush, extravagant amenities of Filthy Island. He gives the two the ten cent tour which includes: a dead fish, an empty Starbucks cup (at least there’s Starbucks for Holliday) and yes, the beautiful ringside couch that Rocky Romero and Gringo Loco sweated upon.
Hammer sits down to enjoy the comfort, but Holliday implores his friend to remove himself. Hammer asks Tom about the SPAM. Tom graciously opens the can with his teeth before making note of the 30 grams of protein per SPAM.
Holliday gets Hammer out of danger, but Hammer does make clear he wants Tom to “keep the SPAM coming.”
Pro Wrestling Illustrated’s Top Ten:
10) Jordan Oliver 9) Calvin Tankman 8) Myron Reed 7) Mil Muertes 6) Richard Holliday 5) Mads Krugger 4) Low Ki 3) Lio Rush 2) Tom Lawlor 1) Alexander Hammerstone
Low Ki vs. King Mo
Bell ring and Low Ki immediately gets some shots in until Mo dumps the legs. Mo seizes on the legs of Low Ki as he lifts and slams The Lone Wolf of Brooklyn down hard.
Mo makes certain that the left leg is a focus of his attacks. Mo hoists Low Ki up on his shoulders, but Ki catches him in a triangle hold and gets Mo to tap!
WINNER: Low Ki
Low Ki remains in the ring as Team Filthy swarm him. Thankfully, in come the Von Erichs to even the odds! It’s an all-out brawl! Low Ki tosses Lawlor into the windshield of the Jeep! Team Filthy has a case of the limber tale as the Island festivities come to an end for the trio!